The Krotons [3.5]

Arriving in a smelly barren quarry, Jamie and Zoe are keen to leave quickly, but the Doctor is compelled to look around. When they see a man being vaporised by some sort of giant machine, things take a new and horrible turn, and the gang realise they must prevent the tribe of Gonds from continuing their ghoulish ritual sacrifices to the Krotons.

For centuries, the Gonds have been willing slaves of the Krotons. They regard them as godlike teachers; obey their every desire, and are unable to think beyond the confines given them. But now, faced with evidence of the Krotons cynical brutality, the Gonds rise up in revolt, and the TARDIS crew find themselves caught up in the struggle.

The Majesty

Occasionally, it is possible to see where this story was aiming: a vast and universal satire of government, of oppression, segregation and religion. A hymn in praise of science, freedom and intuition. It is all summed up in the final line: “We have to find our own answers now.” Sadly, the story doesn't quite live up to these aspirations, but you have to credit the attempt.

The story also benefits from a couple of great performances from James Copeland (nice to see an alien with a Scottish accent) and especially Philip Madoc, who makes an otherwise forgettable role very memorable.

The Misery

The first shot of the first episode is a sliding door failing to open properly, and this sets the tone for the rest of the story. Everything is on a small, cheap scale. We get the feeling that there are about 30-40 Gonds in total and only 2 Krotons, who live in a box. The Krotons heads can spin round and round, which is cool, but their hands cannot operate their own controls and just sort of flap uselessly at the levers. They also appear to be wearing some sort of a curtain skirt when they move around, which doesn't fit with them being 'living crystal'. And is it just me, or do they have South African accents?

Magical Moments

• Never mind the woman who has just collapsed in front of him: the Doctor is more concerned about his damaged umbrella. “The Vandals!”
• There is a very odd end to Episode One, where a large phallic tentacle emerges from a wall, and the Doctor cries out and falls over for no discernible reason.
• “Great jumping gobstoppers, what was that?” cries the Doctor, when a gong sounds.
• Later, all in one breath: “Go away don't fuss me! Come back! What's this? It's all right, I know!”
• The Doctor, playing for time, drops his headset: “Oh butterfingers!”

In Summary

“The Krotons” feels like it was aiming higher, but ends up being a rather pedestrian tale. There are some good ideas, especially around the science of living crystals, but this story is hardly a highlight of the season. At the same time, it's not horrible: there's enough in it to keep me watching. It would be a struggle to work through it if it were missing, but it's all in one piece, so it can be enjoyed on its own kitsch terms.

Overall: 3.5