The Myth Makers [3.9]

The TARDIS materialises outside the ancient city of Troy, under siege by a Greek army. The Doctor is mistaken for Zeus, though, much to his chagrin, this divine comparison comes with the caveat that he is appearing ‘in the guise of a beggar’. Meanwhile Steven is enlisted in the Greek army and Vicki is captured by the Trojans, along with the TARDIS. Hilarity ensues.

King Priam likes Vicki, but not half as much as his amorous sons Paris and Troilus. However she makes an enemy of the local priestess, Cassandra, and ends up being imprisoned as a spy. Back outside the walls, the Doctor is being forced to come up with some means of capturing the city. Eventually, he is forced back on the only idea he can think of – the mythical Trojan Horse.

The Majesty

This is quite a unique story in the Dr Who canon. It builds on the sense of humour established in The Romans and The Chase and then pushes it to extremes, leaving us with a story that could just as easily be entitled “Carry on Troy”. In a parody of Homer and of Shakespeare’s “Troilus and Cressida”, we have a range of legendary heroes – Achilles, Odysseus, Agamemnon, Priam, Hector, Paris, Menelaus – who all act in the most bourgeois, foppish fashion imaginable. And I love it! It’s not ‘pure Dr. Who’, but isn’t the whole magic of Dr Who that it can be anything it wants to be? (I’m still waiting for the musical episode!)

This parody style keeps the story from sinking under the weight of the events it is trying to portray. Cassandra continually shrieks about the impending doom and gloom; Paris wants a sandwich; Menelaus wishes he could just go home and forget about the over-rated Helen; Achilles is derided as a layabout, and Odysseus comes across as a thug. The characterisation is brilliant.

The Misery

Sadly, as a completely missing story, The Myth Makers can not be enjoyed as much as it deserves. The sound quality on the reconstruction I watched was poor quality and some of the dialogue was sadly lost. Also, more generally, the story has a slow start: the crew take ages to even leave the TARDIS, and Vicki is still hiding inside by the end of the first episode. And I’m disappointed we never see the famous Helen, the face whose beauty launched a thousand ships!

Magical Moments

• “I challenge Zeus to descend to Earth and save Achilles” cries Hector. Immediately, the Doctor steps out of his TARDIS. Hector turns sound in shock and Achilles stabs him in the back.
• Menelaus and Agamemnon are introduced to us as bickering housewives. – “Why can’t you behave like a King, instead of a dropsy-ridden camp follower? Remember you’re my brother!” – “One of the reasons I drink, Agamemnon, is to forget that I’m your brother!”
• The TARDIS is proudly dragged into Troy by Paris, who claims it as the spoils of war. – “What in the world is that?” grumbles Priam. – “I captured it from the Greeks!” says Paris. – “Hah!” snorts Priam, “I expect they were glad to see the back of it!”
• Paris talks to Priam, worrying about the ethics of burning the TARDIS as a sacrifice. “Shouldn’t we check with the gods, first? They might not like it!” – “Yes, have a word with them, Cassandra!”
• Priam, referring to Cassandra: “I keep her around as a kind of insurance. Then, if things do go wrong, she can turn round and say ‘I told you so’ ”.
• Menelaus: – “Don’t you think we’ve carried this whole business just a little bit too far?”
• Trying to come up with ideas to conquer Troy, the Doctor recommends putting men in catapults. He quickly backtracks when Odysseus threatens that the first jump be made by Doctor himself.
• Agamemnon has great difficulty explaining the plan to Menelaus. He tells him they need to retreat a little, to make it look as though they have gone. Menelaus: - “Do we need to come back?”

In Summary

I like how different this story is from the norm. It’s been suggested that it’s not actually a ‘historical’, in the usual meaning of the world, but that it takes place within some sort of fantasy world like the ‘Land of Fiction’, populated by larger-than-life caricatures. The comedy might not be to everybody’s taste, but it tickles my fancy. Vicky gets a good send off, running off into the sunset with her new boyfriend, and I’m not especially going to miss her!

It's a shame the alternative episode titles were never used - they are inspired!

• Zeus Ex Machina
• Small Prophet, Quick Return
• Is there a Doctor in the Horse?
• Horse of Destruction

Overall: 3.9